What is Men's Violence Against Women?
In our program we teach men that their violence to their
partners comes from the way they were trained to be men in this society.
We believe that men's violence is the traditionally accepted enforcement
of commonly held beliefs in male superiority. The knowledge, attitudes,
beliefs, and behaviors which support men's belief in superiority is called
the Male Role Belief System.
A poster in our classroom puts it this way: "My violence is
the enforcement end of my male role belief system that I am superior to my
partner."
This belief system of superiority is false and dangerous. It
is false because no one is superior to another person and dangerous
because enforcing superiority over your partner could injure her, frighten
your children, and land you in jail.
Men's violence to women is learned, and it can be unlearned.
Part of that unlearning process is to learn to recognize men's abusive and
violent behaviors.
Men violate their partners when they cross their partner’s
boundaries without permission in order to coerce her into their control.
Male-role control works by physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually
destroying their partner's physical, intellectual, and emotional integrity
so that she will be afraid to be herself, will control herself, and
therefore be available to be controlled by you.
Each of these following violent behaviors is destructive, and
they hurt your partner.
·
Physical
Violence. Physical violence falls into two broad categories of
destruction: physically violent actions around your partner and physical
violence to your partner's body.
·
Verbal
Violence. The objective of verbal violence is to destroy your partner in
three ways by diminishing her (making her less than she is), "thingifying"
her (making a thing out of her), and threatening her.
·
Emotional
Violence. The objective of emotional Violence is to destroy your partner
by depriving her of commonly held resources that are essential to her
well-being and sense of integrity, such as controlling her time and space
and defining her reality.
·
Sexual
Violence. Sexual violence is a broad spectrum of violent behavior running
from unwanted touching to rape. The objective of sexual violence is to
destroy your partner's autonomy and sense of well-being by forcing
unwanted sex upon her.
Men's
Violence Against Women Is Learned, and It Can be Unlearned. Contact the
ManKind Program of Marin Abused Women's Services For Information On How
You Can Stop Your Violence
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